Intro to this section
Let's have it for the less positive points of Holland. To add a comment, click on 0 comment and leave your comment and your first name. Overly vitriolic, and rude remarks, will not be incorporated.
If you're a Dutch reader and feeling touchy, please check the Best 100 things about Holland before taking offence.
1/ Etiquette
The threshold of what is considered rude seems way higher here: what would constitute downright ungraciousness in most other countries is merely seen as a concern for efficiency, much needed honesty, or healthy assertiveness. From an expat's perspective, the everyday experience is of a near total absence of gallantry, tact, or diplomacy.
When it comes to table manners, anything seems to go, even from the seemingly most refined dinner partners: speaking with one's mouth full, passing dishes over your plate, and bending so low towards one's plate one could practically do away with cutlery altogether.
Oh, and don't ask where someone is if there's the remotest chance they're in the loo: you'll be told that: 'Ze zijn aan het pissen. Mmmm, too much information! (Laure-Anne, 
).
Licking their knives! A local obsession maybe, but shocking to find everyone at the table at a wedding did it! (Miranda, 
)
2/ Food
Food presentation seems to be of very little importance here, unless you are paying through the nose for a more upperty restaurant. I am sadly restricted to medium-priced restaurants, where I'll mostly eat worse food than my worst student days. (Laure-Anne, ).
I have found a country where food is even worse than it is in the UK. Even many places called bar-restaurants only serve very average sandwiches or salads, or some kind of local finger food - broodjie and the likes - which I really can't identify as food. There are few good food shops. But the opening hours are absurd. To cut a long story short: nothing really encourages to gastronomy. (Vincent, 
)
3/ Poor, poor, poor vegetarians
Goodness... If I have to eat another piece of cheese or plain lettuce whilst watching the others eat their main course... Sometimes too, despite ordering the veggie menu, you'll often be served chicken in your noodles, because it "....ALWAYS comes with it" (same caution to be applied with the tomato soup served with as a "veggie" meal despite the fact that it, you've guessed "... ALWAYS comes with meatballs"). (Laure-Anne, )
4/ Traffic and road planning
What's the idea with going from 4 to 2 lanes at the busiest junctions and, closing every road known to man on what feels like EVERY summer evenings? Oh and I would really like to see a roundabout somewhere near a motorway exit instead of having to drive to the next COUNTRY for the next opportunity to turn back. Oh, and there is a total lack of traffic light synchronisation on long roads, meaning that you stand to get EVERY light red for miles 99% of the time. (Laure-Anne, )
5/ Nature - lack thereof
Within a 50 km radius of where I live, you'd be hard pushed to not see constant concrete and soviet-style architecure, unless you're in a historical town centre. If you want to see nature, just steer clear of the Ranstad. (Laure-Anne, )
Maybe I am a bit blind to this, as I live in a Dutch village, but I am supposed to be surrounded by it. Unfortunately it is flat, and in straight lines - water, pieces of land, and trees - not really conducive to the word 'Nature'. And the Dutch think it so wonderful that you must go and cycle round it, every day! (Miranda, )
6/ Customer service
Unless you approach your query in the most apologetic, self-effacing, contrite manner, the staff will give you a scolding for your impertinence. On a rare, lucky day, you may get eye contact or, God forbid, a smile. Last time a shop staff smiled at me, I married him - no kidding.
God forbid you actually have a slightly non-routine query. Since moving here, I have heard the stern 'It's not possible' so often that it could pass as the national anthem. (Laure-Anne, )
Service is crap. Bars, restaurants, shops, etc.. People have no conscience of what is a customer and how to treat him. As I never hesitate to complain when I am spending my money and I am not satisfied of the service, I have some interesting moments ... (Vincent, )
No customer service to speak of here in Holland! (Amanda and Julian, )
This year the government renamed the Sofinummer (social security number). It is now the Burgerservicenummer (citizen service number). Ever wondered why you see this foreign word (service) so widely used, even by the government? You may regard it as English or French, but is certainly not Dutch, which has its own perfectly good word: dienst. Answer: they have to use a foreign word, because service is a foreign concept! (Paul, 
/
)
7/ Opinions
OK, this one bugs me soooo much: what's with the unrequested opinions? It seems totally OK to just voice your opinion at any time despite the fact that: 1/ You're no expert, in fact, most times you don't know the first about the subject; 2/ Your opinion is actually pretty offensive, 3/ Noone asked you for it. (Laure-Anne, )
8/ Bumper kleven
It doesn't matter whether there is another car in front of you, whether you're overtaking with quite a respectable speed difference, or whether you are on the right lane way above the speed limit and with all other lanes free, someone WILL stick to your bumper. Boy do I love to pretend I am slamming my breaks when that happens. Driving in Holland can be downright ecstatic for the self-righteous on a mission. (Laure-Anne, )
9/ Bread
Since moving here, I can no longer assume that bread will be hard on the outside and soft on the inside, and not the other way round. I am yet to find good, fresh, homemade bread in a bakery in Holland. Instead, the bread is made by factories and delivered to the bakery chains (Laure-Anne, )
10/ Shop opening hours
How I miss convenience shopping: stock choices, free parking, interesting offers, and ... great shopping hours. (Laure-Anne, )
Opening hours for most of the shops are 10am to 5pm +/- 30mn. So when do you expect us - your potential customers - to have time to go shopping? My assumption : you earn too much already. Otherwise, you would have longer working days ... (Vincent, )
11/ Fresh fruit and vegetable
Here's a little challenge for you: go to a Dutch supermarket (any, even the more upmarket ones) and find a fruit basket without at least 20% of the fruit on offer being overripe, if not downright rotten. The other day, I actually brought a putrid case of oranges to the cash register, and the shelf-boy dutifully placed them back on the shelves... (Laure-Anne, )
12/ Supermarkets
I really miss UK supermarkets: you have choice, some semblance of shelving logic and consistency, and a minimum quality of goods. Gawd it's so frustrating to have to look for UHT milk, soy milk, yoghurt, and cheese in 4 different departments because, God forbid they are all stacked under 'Dairy'! Along the same lines: sauce is not a cooking ingredient, honey does not belong with the breakfast spreads, and rice does not belong with the pasta. It just HAS to be a horrible marketing ploy to have us wander round and to see more goods. (Laure-Anne, )
13/ Silly speed limits
80 km/hr on a motorway? That is the case on parts of major ring roads (e.g. Rotterdam and The Hague). Oh, and 100 km/hr on major motorways (e.g. that 5-lane bit around Schiphol)... In case you miss being ground to a halt by horrendous traffic (sticking to people's bumbers doesn't help, Mr Dutchman; nor does the total absence of synchonicity of traffic lights, and, to my great dismay, the opening of draw bridges on motorway lanes at peak times), but never fear. On the rare occasion when that is not happening, the Government is giving you the wonderful opportunity to relive those precious moments by slow traffic through ridiculously low speed limits. (Laure-Anne, )
Speed cameras seem to be everywhere (Dawn, )
14/ Social life
I just don't get it. Firstly, everybody seems to have one and only one obsessive idea in mind, starting from 4:30pm : going back home ASAP ! If you try the "fancy a drink after work ?" - which you don't even need to ask in the UK -, you havn't got a single chance to get a positive answer unless you made an appointment at least 3 weeks in advance. This is just a no-go. Mainly because of that, I just can't see how it is possible, for expats, to developp some form of social life with the locals. The shame is that, as a direct consequence, the local females - often gorgeous - become quite difficult to target. (Vincent, )
15/ Process-oriented
Ha - process-oriented people ! You have to fill that form, follow the process, and wait in the line. And you may have to wait a while before something starts to move. Yes, 2 months to get my ADSL connection, in 2006. 2 days in the UK, 1 day in Australia, etc... (Vincent, )
16/ Language: if you speak such good English...
Everybody speaks a more or less reasonable language here. I mean... English. But, given the advanced state of Dutch-English biliguism here, why is it then that such an internationalized-globalized modern and advanced society still has 99% of its admin docs, websites, etc.. all only in Dutch? (Vincent, )
17/ Weather
Can't do much about it, but man ... (Vincent, )
Weather - Admittedly, it is rather cold and wet in this country for most of the year, but this surely must be a good thing. Firstly, it means that your unlikely to get skin-cancer as you will probably be covered most of the year in waterproofs. Secondly, when the sun does shine you appreciate it so much more, like an old friend you have not seen in ten years. On the down side though, the beaches are always packed when the sun is out, and I presume the next day, so are the surgeries, as the unpleasant side effects of all that binge-sunbathing - namely the freshly roasted lobster look that is so appealing - makes its appearance. (Ralph, )
18/ Taxes
Here you basically work more than half of your time for the government. Fortunately, I've got a clever arrangement, so that does not count ... :) (Vincent, )
And you have to fill in the form yourself, to add insult to injury ; ) (Laure-Anne, )
19/ Traffic lights
I've sometimes found myself having a whole phone conversation (yes, handsfree) without the light turning green. I've timed a major one in Rijswijk which is red for 2 minutes - am not kidding - and green for about 20 seconds. Oh, and don't get me started on green waves (lack thereoef). (Laure-Anne, )
20/ GPs
Insensitive, flippant, unhygienic, unprofessional, rude, pushy, greedy and in an undisguised hurry, sums up my experience with virtually all local GPs. I started to ask around on expat sites, and all I could get was more accounts of appalling rudeness. I've FINALLY found a good one and, surprise surprise, he's half British, half French. Oh, and he speaks Spanish and has divine taste in wall colour and great magazines in the waiting room! If you're around Leidschendam, you can always ask me for his details. (Laure-Anne, )
21/ Banks
I think Banks here are one of the worst things here in Holland. Never ever lose a card or let a machine eat it (when the power goes out) or you are screwed and moneyless for at least 5 working days (at least with postbank). And you can't even use your damn passport to access your money. (Kerri, 
)
22/ Garden Gnomes
Garden Gnomes!!! (Miranda, )
24/ Queueing
Mmmmh. What queue? It's every man to himself. Oh, and to the men who arrive AFTER me at the bar and don't think it proper to tell the barman to serve me first, thank you for your gallantry. (Laure-Anne, )
Now, it is not just the queueing per se that is a problem here, it is the way everyone pushes in. I have found the old women the worst - after men who think it is their 'equal right' to push in front at every opportunity. So many old women have pushed in - or tried - and been horrified when I haven't let them get away with it. And also 'Man-handling' - people physically putting their hands on you and moving you out of their way, without a word or anything, is the thing I found most shocking of all in this country and what there should be a public outcry about! - but again, it is old women who are particular bad at this - second only to the men! (Miranda, )
25/ (In)tolerance
I don't get how one of the biggest stereotypes about the Dutch is their tolerance. My experience has been rather contradicting this myth. Try to show the first sign of something that your interlocutor vaguely disapproves of, or is unfamiliar with, and you will be greeted with shouts of "onzin" and brutal "natuurlijk niet". Try not being white, expressing a new opinion or getting your grammar wrong to test middle-class Dutch tolerance. (Laure-Anne, )
26/ Individualism
It seems that fair-play and self-sacrifice are often considered weaknesses in cities here. There seems to be an untold rule of the "survival of the most assertive". Here is some common examples:
· not holding the door open for someone walking close behind you;
· not giving away your seat for an older or pregnant lady: even sneaking in the seat that was just liberated for them;
· pushing someone out of your way (PHYSICALLY!) instead of helping them with the fruit scales at the supermarket, the train ticket machine at the airport, etc.
· taking the first taxi at the airport although you KNOW it wasn't your turn
Sigh... I find this constant fight for the most basic privileges exhausting. (Laure-Anne, )
27/ Women = men
Now, you can call me old-fashioned, but I had grown up knowing that women's orders get taken first in restaurants; the one waits for you if you get separated from the group; that one offers to walk you home/to your bus at night; and that, yes, one pays for the restaurant. At least on the first date. Independence? Yes, but where's the charm of the weaker sex? (Laure-Anne, )
28/ Secretaries
I am soooo scared of the typical over-assertive Dutch secretary. Over a 6-year stint at the same company, 3 department secretaries were the scariest social encounters of my life. Unless you shower them with compliments, proove that your request is not demeaning and in fact part of their basic duties, and only express your demand in the most sheepish way, expect downright refusal. Reminding about the coffee ordered hours ago for the meeting room becomes a biiiig diplomatic event. This is not to mention the one that actually hurled a stapler at a colleague; and another one who burst into a meeting room and called an attendee a 'farmer' because he didn't answer his phone (Laure-Anne, )
Maybe it is because I am a man, albeit rather a compact figure, (especially here), or because I am just such a saintly person (untrue), or because the organization I work for is super-professional (unlikely), but I can't agree with Laure-Anne's experience. All the secretaries I have dealt with in the organization I work for have been amazingly efficient, above and beyond the call of duty, even when you need them to do something during lunch-time. In fact, one of our secretaries even paid me a compliment last week, which believe me does not happen often. However, I wonder if the secretaries are more willing to help me, because I am still so new here, and clearly have no idea how anything works, or possibly because unlike some of my colleagues I always use my oblique, indirect English way of asking them to do things. (Ralph, )
Now I was a secretary/PA here for almost 3 years before becoming a full-time mum and my general consensus is that Dutch secretaries can be really crap! You do get those, at high level, who are great and go above and beyond the call of duty, but overall it is rare. The majority of Dutch secretaries are complainers and will not do more than is in their 'job description' which they will quote at you if you ask them to do anything they think is 'unreasonable' - and a lot is unreasonable with them. Once they have a permanent contract, you are in trouble, they will become the proverbial slacker! (Miranda, )
29/ Lunchtimes
I have to add something negative here I am afraid to say. Personally, I do not understand why the Dutch spend so little time at lunch, probably because they all want to be at home early. A normal lunch with Dutch colleagues can take as little as twenty minutes, which is hardly long enough to enjoy the delightful artery-clogging, hyperactivity-inducing fayre they serve here. Maybe I am just strange, but I need time to relax at lunch, to have a little snooze perhaps, or go for a little walk in the 'picturesque concrete jungle' of the new town. Actually, now I think about it, maybe they are right. (Ralph, )
30/ Birthday or housewarming circles
OK, every expat has heard of the dreaded birthday circle: you're meant to sit on a chair in a circle and eat your food on your lap. You must formally introduce yourself to the persons left and right of you, and proceed to have a good time... NOW! I can't think of anything less... gezellig. Admittedly, my one attempt at celebrating my birthday here in Holland ended up just like that. I just don't get it: is it in the genes that a circle be required upon celebrating one's birthday? (Laure-Anne, )
31/ Gezellig
I would be grateful not to have to hear another emotional speech about how unique the word 'gezellig' is. Guys, it's not that it can't be translated: it's more that there are a gazillion different subtle types of 'gezelligness' in other languages, which each got a word of their own (cosy, relaxed, convivial, friendly, comfortable, warm, ... shall I go on?). (Laure-Anne, )
33/ Beeping at traffic lights
Getting beeped at when my car is actually moving within less than a second of the traffic light turning green gets my goat, and is a frequent occurence. (Laure-Anne, )
I am a beeper at traffic lights! I hate people not being ready to go ASAP - mainly cuz the traffic lights in Holland only like to be on Red - going to Green makes them nervous so they only stay there a couple of seconds. Can't be doing with slow drivers! (Miranda, )
34/ New Year's eve fireworks
How kids and drunken people are allowed to handle fireworks (we're not talking crackers, here, but full-blown rockets), I have no idea. As far as I'm concerned, I have serious concerns about risking a limb again by celebrating Outennieuw in a crowded Dutch city centre. Oh, and regularly aiming the fireworks AT people seems so much more fun. I swear that night feels like a war zone: loud bangs all over you, and the background sound of ambulance sirens. (Laure-Anne, )
35/ Telly
As someone who quite likes the food here and hates gyms, it will come as no surprise that I actually like telly. Unfortunately, Dutch television is truly, truly awful, dominated by American imports, or documentaries about the Netherlands in the old days, and frankly rather dull lifestyle programmes. The highlights are few and far between but include a quiz programme in a taxi, Cash-Cab, an improvised comedy, Talpa's 'Rauw', the anti-thesis of all talent shows, 'Nix Factor'. (Ralph, )
36/ Humour
I don't get the Dutch sense of humour, and it would be interesting to find out why this is. Over the last year, I have spent some time in the cinema, watching such films as 'Charlie and the Chocolate Factory', 'Wallace and Grommit in the Curse of the Warerabbit', 'Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy' and 'Grissly Man'. Whilst the former three are all comedies, and the latter is a documentary by Werner Herzog about a failed actor, Timothy Treadwell, who was eventually mauled to death and eaten by the grissly bears he was 'studying', only the latter elicited hearty laughter from the mainly Dutch audience. Admittedly, some of the jokes don't translate well, but surely I should not be the only one howling with laughter at Slarty Bartfarst eventhough Bill Nighy was not a patch on Richard Vernon), or Grommit's attempts to seduce a twenty foot-high ware-rabbit. (Ralph, )
37/ The Undutchables
The Undutchables is one of those books that a Dutch colleague suggested that I should read. So, dutifully, I went into a book-shop picked up a copy, flicked through one or two of the entries, and almost died of shock. Maybe, I was looking at the wrong page, but it featured some of the most poisonous, viriolic writing I had seen in a while. I know this is going to seem ironic but there are many good things about living here, and once you begin to accept that things are different here, you really can begin to love this place and its people ... most of the time. (Ralph, )
I was given this book before moving to Holland. After reading it, it took a lot of convincing for me to re-pack my bags and still agree to come! Here's something noteworthy: my Dad looooves this book. It's a little discomforting that a father should take such delight at reading the potential plight of his daughter as a resident of The Netherlands, but hey? (Laure-Anne, )
On the book, totally agree, thought it was shocking, although that was before I moved here and I haven't picked it up since. But I did see the authors when I worked at Shell, they came to do a talk - one from UK , one from US - and I have to say they were very funny. BUT I don't agree about the job agency, they were the only one who sent me to jobs that actually suited my profile and that I actually wanted. I found them quite good. But like all job agencies in Holland - you have to do contact them continually and look on their site and let them know what jobs they have for you! (Miranda, )
38/ Salminjak - spelling?
If you've tried it, you'll know what I am talking about. It's a 'sweet' that actually tastes salty and pepperey. It's only redeeming feature is that I imagine the gag reflexes it provokes could be used as a first aid vomitive. Piece of international knowledge here: in most other countries, pepper and salt sweets are sold in joke shops. (Laure-Anne, )
Can you seriously put Salmanjiak down as a bad thing? I actually quite like the stuff, but then again I do have very strange tastes, or maybe eating it appeals to my sense of machismo. Oddly though, I have yet to meet another ex-pat. who likes this stuff though, which makes me wonder whether the production of this stuff is actually a Dutch practical joke. I presume not as Venco make Salmanjiakrondos, but you never know. (Ralph, )
39/ Cheese slicer
I think cheese slicers are worthy of a mention. Here's why:
a/ Ask a Swede about cheese slicers and he will claim it is a Swedish invention. All I know is it is as popular here in Holland. The mystery of its origins remains but my interest is fast waning...
b/ I have a theory as to why it is so popular in Holland: cheese is cheaper in a block than in slices!
c/ No matter how hard I try, nothing like a slice comes out of it. Cheese masher more like. I vote for pre-sliced cheese anyday.
(Laure-Anne, )
Now my Dutch hubby calls it 'raping the cheese' when someone 'unpracticed' attempts to slice it and leaves it all bumpy. After years of practice I can now do it, but I can't buy those wedge shape pieces, have to be block shaped - and if it is 'jong' cheese you will have no hope of slicing it properly as it is too soft. We buy 'extra belegen' - very nice too! (but then we do live on the outskirts of Gouda). Keep practicing! It also depends on your slicer, we have a good wide one.(Miranda, )
40/ Dutch policemen on bicycles
NO NO NO, this is sooooo not right, they might look cute for the tourists but I want to feel some kind of police presence that gives me confidence in our local constabulary, it's akin to having "Noddy" police the streets of Delft. Once they get to 55?, is this what the do to them, take them out of a patrol car and give them "Bike Duty".......I haven't seen any that haven't got grey beards, shirts that have been ironed, god forbid using starch! , shiney "see your face in" Boots AND they get to keep the .38 calibre, which is comical, (an armed Papa Smurf?) if not scarey.....the local criminal community must be surely quaking in their boots at this phenomenon..........shakes head in disbelief.................... (Simon, )
41/ Parking "spaces"
Perhaps it should be named a "parking narrownesses" instead of a "parking spaces". I know we're overpopulated here, but there is such a thing as the laws of physics! To shed a positive light on it:
a/ After enough time in Holland, you can try for your truck driver licence, because you can now officially park ANYTHING, ANYWHERE.
b/ What a great incentive to loose weight. Try attempting to squeeze out of the car with what's left of your dignity after the 15 failed parking attempts in front of all your staring colleagues. (Laure-Anne, )
Need more parking spaces. Always a struggle to park anywhere. (Amanda & Julian, )
42/ Expensive bicycles
I went to a shop to look for a bicycle the other day and it was over 1,000 euros! Just been advised to not buy a new bicycle in Holland, though. Seems most people buy stolen ones instead! (Brian, 
)
43/ No time to pack groceries at supermarket
You never get given enough time to pack your groceries before the next person's groceries come along at the supermarket! (Loreto, )
44/ Ageism
If you are over fourty you are too old to find a job!!! Employer can ask for applicant's age, and even gender! (Dawn, )
45/ Bikes have all rights
The highway code does not seem to be applicable to bikes. They will frequently amble along, chatting with 3 of them side-by-side, while a queue of frustrated motorists just grows and grows behind them. They'll also just cross the road just in front of you because, well, I guess they didn't like waiting, the poor souls. Oh, and traffic light are like a starting block, and the motorists have no chance as the bikes will squeeze in front of you and actually look affronted when you take your rightful priority (Binnenwatersloot to Phoenixstraat in Delft ring a bell?). (Laure-Anne, )
46/ Quality = last priority
They're possibly an action-oriented and extraverted culture that maybe doesn't put much emphasis on quality all the time. They eat standing or on the run and never seem to relax in public--except coffee shops. They relax at home, which makes them home-bodies. (Nikki, )
social events, networking facilitation, wanted/for sale ads and practical information for expats in and around Delft.
